


i've been roaming 'round the lost and found (but i'm home now)

by EastOfEll



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, other characters are mentioned i guess, the d slur is said once, what's a canon? i only know fix its
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 17:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12392523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastOfEll/pseuds/EastOfEll
Summary: alex and maggie have the kids talk. also, maggie's father makes a small appearance.(aka a fix it fic, because we'll never have enough of those.)





	i've been roaming 'round the lost and found (but i'm home now)

**Author's Note:**

> hello beautiful lgbt women (yes, you!) and the small percentage of people who aren't lgbt women that read femslash fic, i've made a fix it fic because supergirl is a mess and 3x02 only lasted the twenty seconds that sanvers had their bed scene. maggie was confirmed a top. water is wet. the sky is blue. i'm always right.
> 
> sapphics on tumblr / nblesbian on twitter if you wanna hit me up or tell me to never type anything ever again

Alex feels the dread form in her stomach as Maggie’s words dawn on her.

 

_I don’t see myself as a mom._

 

She doesn’t understand; who doesn’t want children? It’s one of the few things she can remember wanting when she was one herself. She can remember wanting kids, yet still feeling something was off, and she didn’t realize why until she met Maggie, until she realized it wasn’t that she didn’t want kids, she didn’t want the raise-them-with-a-husband. She’d thought she’d get to raise them with her wife.

 

She doesn’t understand until a week of awkward tension and late work nights go by, and Alex is sent to the NCPD to help with the questioning of a man who saw an alien murder.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Captain Montoya says, and takes out a manila document. “Can you give this to Detective Sawyer? She was running around earlier and I didn’t have time to give it to her. She should just be getting back. It’s the witness of the alien murder found earlier this morning.”

 

The victim was a young woman who looked completely fine on the outside, but her insides were burned and practically cooked, as if they were left sitting in an oven. J’onn suspects another metahuman. He left Alex to go figure it out while he and Kara go investigate something on Mars.

 

(The thought of her surrogate father and sister on a completely different planet doesn’t settle right with her, but, _whatever_. There had been many promises of safekeeping, and she can only hope they both return in one piece. Vasquez and Winn were back at the building in constant contact with them.)

 

“Okay.” Alex is about to take it when the captain narrows her eyes.

 

“I trust you because Maggie trusts you, and because you’re a federal agent, but you take this file _directly_ to the detective. Understood?” When Alex stands nervously still for a few seconds before nodding, the captain’s demeanor changes and she grins. “Good. Have a nice day!”

 

“Maggie?” Alex calls out. She sees the smaller woman hanging her leather jacket on the back of her officer chair. “You’re gonna want to put that back on. We have a witness for today’s murder. The D.E.O. has connected it to another metahuman.”

 

“Oh, okay. Is that the file? I’m surprised Montoya gave it to you. She doesn’t like giving things to people who aren’t cops.”

 

“It’s not like I’m a civilian,” Alex whines, and she hands the folder over to Maggie.

 

She doesn’t understand until Maggie skims the document for a second only for her face to grow the palest Alex has ever seen it, a type of pale Maggie can get only after seeing Oscar Rodas’s name and license picture for the first time in over fifteen years.

 

“Maggie?” Alex asks. “Is something wrong?”

 

“No.” Maggie snaps the folder shut, voice laced with irritation. Alex knows better than to question her; any small fight they have may turn into something bigger, and that’s something that needs to happen in the privacy of their home, not the workplace. “Let’s go question him.”

 

The man is in his mid-fifties, sporting a button up, necktie, and slacks. His hair and beard, which obviously used to be jet black back in the day, is now sprinkled with some gray. His eyes are deep, deep brown, and Alex feels like she’s seen them before.

 

“I’m Detective Sawyer.” To most, there would be nothing wrong, but Alex can detect a heavily pushed-down tremble in her fiancee’s voice. “We heard you were the one who found the body this morning. We just have a few questions to ask, and then you’re permitted to leave.”

 

“You don’t think I did it, do ya?” the man says gruffly. “I’m a retired officer. I hope you know that.”

 

“It looks to be the work of someone with special abilities,” Alex says. “Unless you have secret powers we don’t know of?”

 

The man snorts. “Nah, I’m not like one of those freaks.”

 

Maggie’s hands clench just hard enough for Alex to notice, but she continues. “What time did you find the body?”

 

“Wait a minute.” The man looks Maggie up and down, and a look of surprise crosses his features. “Magdalena?”

 

Maggie grits her teeth. “Answer the question.”

 

“Answer _mine_.” The man stands up, and Alex sees Maggie’s foot back up just an inch, as if she’s preparing to run. “I haven’t seen my daughter in years. You don’t think I deserve a proper greeting?”

 

Alex’s eyes widen as she realizes the man before her is Maggie’s father. Same stature, same brown eyes, same occupation.

 

“Not really,” Maggie says. “It’s not like I _chose_ to get out of contact with you. I want to get back to the case.”

 

“If you hadn’t strayed from God’s path and self-proclaim yourself as a dyke, I wouldn’t have had to find another place for you to go.”

 

“ _Find_?” Maggie croaks out just as Alex steps forward.

 

“Take back what you said or I’ll―”

 

Maggie puts her hand in front of Alex. “Stop. It’s not worth it.”

 

The man (Oscar Rodas, Maggie’s father) spots the ring on Maggie’s hand glistening in the precinct’s florescent lights. “You married?”

 

“Engaged.” Maggie’s reply is curt.

 

“To a man, I presume?”

 

“To _me_ ,” Alex says through clenched teeth.

 

His brown eyes impossibly darken. “Looks like you haven’t changed, then. Not only do you soak yourself in sin daily, you dare to wear a badge and call yourself someone _for_ the people―”

 

“We’re going,” Maggie says. “If you can’t get rid of your prejudice to answer a few questions about how someone _died_ this morning, I’m going to get someone else to help you.”

 

She walks out of the room.

 

Alex gives one look to the man who kicked Maggie out, who made Maggie want to be a police officer (she can only assume), who gave her the trauma and baggage that makes her self conscious yet so _selfless_ ; she damns him and thanks him in one, searing glare, and she says, “I hope you realize, one day, just how much you missed out on,” before following her fiancee out the door.

 

―――――

 

Even with the bump in the road, they manage to catch the murderer; a man with the power to boil water, which explains the weird way the victim died. It takes three days of non-stop work, though, and by the time Alex and Maggie both get back to the apartment, all Alex wants to do is sleep.

 

She knows better, though.

 

“Hey, Maggie,” she says, “about a few days ago…”

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Maggie snaps, the exhaustion and stress getting to her.

 

“I’m not expecting you to,” Alex says, “I just… is that why you don’t want kids?”

 

Maggie’s expression says it all. Soft, tired, and on the verge of tears. Bringing out her arms, Alex murmurs a, “Come here,” and Maggie sinks into Alex’s embrace, shaking.

 

“He treated me so terribly,” Maggie whispers, Alex rubbing her back. “I’m just… I’m so terrified that if I become a mother, I’ll make my children feel like he made _me_ feel.”

 

There’s a pause before Maggie continues. “You know that mark on the small of my back?” Maggie feels Alex nod against the crown of her head. “It’s not from a rowdy suspect like I said. I… It’s from his belt, when he kicked me out. He hit me with his belt and then I left the house with nothing but the clothes on my back.”

 

“Baby,” Alex says, and Maggie’s crying, _she’s_ crying. She takes her arms out of the embrace and cups Maggie’s downturned face. “Look at me, baby.”

 

When Maggie looks up, Alex’s traces her thumbs lovingly across the paths Maggie’s tears have made along the barely-there lines Alex knows lie her dimples. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, okay? And you didn’t deserve any of that shit you went through. I hope you know that.”

 

Maggie gives a helpless shrug, arms and hands limp at her waist.

 

“Do I want kids? Yes, Maggie, I want kids. I want to raise a family. But I’m scared, too. In no way does my family problems compare to yours, but my parents have, my _mom_ has made me feel terrible, too. I’m scared that if I have kids, they won’t come to me for help, they won’t trust me to be there for them. They’ll think my expectations of them prioritize over their feelings. It’s okay to be scared that you won’t be perfect. It means you _care_.

 

But I’m also okay if we don’t have kids. Why? Because when I imagined getting married as a kid, I’d imagine the faceless man people told me I’d fall in love with. You made me realize it doesn’t _have_ to be a man. Not only that― by the time you made me realize it could be a woman, it was your face I was already picturing. I _love_ you.” She kisses Maggie’s temple. “I love _you_. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to grow old with you and complain about youngsters these days and argue with other old people in whatever home we have to live in, whether we have kids or not, okay? Even if our kids end up being a bunch of dogs, or Kara― because, honestly, she’s a handful sometimes― I want to do it _all_ with you.” Alex tucks thick, dark brown hair behind Maggie’s ears. “Just like I said before, I want a lifetime of firsts with you, but that doesn’t mean we have to do _everything_. You get a say, too.”

 

Maggie’s staring at her, the pause in the room blooming as the seconds tick by.

 

Alex grows worried after nothing is said, and her eyebrows scrunch. “Are you okay? What’s the matter?”

 

“Nothing, I just…” Maggie takes her arms and skirts them up Alex’s waist and torso before resting her elbows on Alex’s shoulders, hands clasped behind. “You’re really beautiful. You know that? _So_ beautiful.”

 

“Oh.” Alex gives a huff of surprise, blood rushing to her cheeks and neck. Her eyes quickly dart around the room before connecting with Maggie’s. “Not what I expected, but, thank you. Don’t divert from the topic, though.”

 

“I wasn’t trying to. Your ethereal beauty just distracted me, promise.” The tips of Alex’s ears join the club. “You’re right. Everyone is scared that they’ll be bad parents, even if I’m more scared than most. I’m not saying I don’t want kids at _all_ or I _never_ want them… I just don’t see myself as a mom right _now_ , and people tend to demonize those who don’t want kids. I was scared you’d unintentionally do the same.”

 

“I’d never demonize you,” Alex says, “except when you make me eat that weird vegan food.”

 

“It’s not _that_ bad, Alex!”

 

“It is.” Alex gives Maggie a peck on the lips. “But you’re worth it. And don’t get mad, but I’m going to ask: your father. Are you okay?”

 

“Honestly?” Maggie sighs, “I know it’s only been a few days, but I’m still shaken.”

 

“That’s normal… _Magdalena_.” Maggie gives Alex an unimpressed look, a look that Alex reads as _I’ll call you by_ your _full name, too,_ and shrugs innocently.

 

“I… know, but still. I don’t know if I can talk about it yet; I will, with you, when I’m ready, but right now, I just want to fall asleep to a funny show and your fingers in my hair.”

 

“A tempting offer…” Alex eyes narrow teasingly. “Accepted! How does The Good Place sound?”

 

“Sounds _good_!” Maggie laughs at her own choice of words, plopping down on the couch, and Alex rolls her eyes. “Can you get the ice cream?”

 

“Of course.” Alex walks to the freezer and pulls out two cartons. “One for normal people,” she says, “one for the weird vegan who thinks almond milk tastes and tofu could compare to real food.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Maggie clicks on the television as Alex sits down next to her, starting the show.

 

Maggie falls asleep before the tips of Alex’s fingers are even able to reach her scalp.

 

(A few hours later, Maggie wakes up to a screen that says “Continue?” and shakes Alex awake. “We need to get to bed,” she whispers, “lest we have our backs give out in the middle of the night.”

 

“I hate being old,” Alex groans, bones in her body cracking as she stands up.

 

When they get to the bed, Maggie’s surprised to see Alex lay down, arms open, in the position of the big spoon.

 

Seeing Maggie’s raised eyebrows, Alex says, “My turn tonight,” and as Maggie cuddles into her arms, Alex squeezes, hugging her home.)


End file.
